Elaine Jasmine

Had the chance to be working with her, thank you :') 

It was so much fun and she's such a sweet girl really <3

I've been really busy , but more photos soon I can't wait. 

I cast

To my dearest friend

Cast all your cares onto the Lord

If it makes you happy

Yknow how sometimes we think too much about happiness. Like we wonder if we should really allow ourselves to be happy over something that seems so trivial because if we do, we might regret it later for 'over reacting'. Perhaps being happy over something that isn't very certain or secure, or maybe something that makes you very happy but the people around you don't share that same joy. So like I was thinking about why I hold myself back from expressing when I actually do feel happy about all these small things in my life. I believe that that emotion or that event would have meant a lot to you and if you do feel great, just allow yourself to be in the full blow of it. Even if this means that when you know that when you look back you feel a little 'Hehhh?' but yeah I mean it must have meant alot to you at that point of time. So why not just embrace it and remember it. Be happy cause it's worth it! Cause if it makes you happy, it makes you happy :>

(Not sure if I'm making sense but I hope I am hahaha yay)

Stay amazed

O Holy God, I stay amazed

You are so much more than words could ever say

What love is this

(Film scans low res)

Her knees are weakening but her heart, so strong

Thanks Ah mah for always wanting to be with us even if it means jumping into the lazy pool which was way too strong for you <3 You're the most adventurous Ah Mah I know that joins us for slumber parties. Being all excited in your Pjs and having movie marathons with us till we fall asleep. 

God please strengthen her entire body so that she can keep on doing this with us 

Note to self: Keep on documenting

Rach-s

My films are scanned yay!

Had this shoot the end of last semester. I'm so touched that Rach Mak wanted to shoot with before she left on holiday so she compromised and came to NTU to look for me :') Thank youuu. I was amidst all my submission rushing for the end of sems so it was really nice that she came down for my convenience. And also, she brought so much clothes for me to pick which in the end we used Rachdawgxz's victorian looking vintage dress that is way oversized for Rach. I think it could actually fit both Rachels in it hahaha. It was all sunny and good which was rare because it was the monsoon season and rained everyday but guess what, it started to drizzle while we were making our way out of hall. 

So, I said 'LET'S GET UP THE ADM ROOF' secretly in my heart I was praying we wont get thunder and lighting while up there cause I'm afraid of them. I would jump and spasm at the shock of it hahahahaha damn retarded. But as we climbed up, it got heavier. I was trying hard to crop everything off to make it look less like ADM, and more like a lost/ empowered arabic princess in the wild or something yknow. We had no direction prior to this but everything just came out in the span of 5 minutes on the roof. The wind the rain in her face helped her alot in her getting into character and it helped me in being quick and fast. Thank goodness I had Rachdawgxz with me she really helped me alot and even shot polaroids for me yay :> 

Although I have quite a few photos out of focus or with raindrops on my lens, I think it turned out pretty good man for a 5 minutes shoot hahahaha. Wished I had a footage of us for that 5 minutes that'd be hilarious hahaha. We need to do this again!!! I think the best part about shooting friends and with friends would be that it isn't as stressful? And I can be myself and they'd just laugh at me for it. 

And then, the two Rachels became friends

Yay

Eds

Test shot, Hasselblad

Thanks Edi for always being ever ready and always being more retarded than I am because that makes me feel ok being crazy. You say the weirdest of things that never fails to crack me up. I won't expose you here but you know, I know hahahaha. I'm glad you live in Yew Tee and we're like a few 190 (My fav bus ever) stops away. You're so unique and hilarious in everything you do that it always amazes me. Like while we were shooting you clingwrapped with the rubbish bin there was boys coming around saying 'Wah Crime Watch Sia' and you almost ran up on them pretending to be a zombie come alive. If I didn't stop you, I'm pretty sure you would have hhahaha. You're really like a sister from another mother, a sister I never had. In every of my project, you'd always say 'Yes I'd love to' without even knowing what I'm gonna make you do (like example this) hahahaha. I love working with you, talking and having you over at my secret hideout. I can talk to you about art and you get it, I can talk to you about guinea pee and you get it. HOW DO YOU EVEN EDI

But thank you, love you <3

West adventures

My Sunday

I'm finally blogging these now because, I HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. Hahah have been in need of a days break because I have been rushing for my submission (which was today) Perfect time to have a rest day and stay home to catch up on things. Finally managed to present to my teacher individually because I've not consulted for her the whole month and she has no clue what my project would be about. So it was pretty much a surprise for both parties. After talking to her today, I guess it was a good surprise :') I'm so thankful that I did what I wanted and I'm happy to have done this project with the help of all my friends. Having her approval was bonus to me because even if she didn't like it, I would still say that I do hahaha. 

I think over these semesters in ADM, especially in photography I've learnt how to discover what I truly like and (TRY) not define myself so much by what's academically the best or easier or convenient to do? I'm not saying that I'm the best or anything like that but I am happy with my work and I'm extremely thankful I managed to come up with something because all my ideas for the past month seemed airy and not something I'd feel as confident about. I was so worried that I'd have nothing to show or present honestly. I struggle alot with the thinking process and I usually only execute when I'm extremely sure that this is something worth going for and hence that leaves to the last week of submissions usually. 

I really thank God for His grace and always watching over me giving me favour among people and creative ideas in how I should pull my work through. If you actually looked at my contact prints (draft works) they're all pretty different. And now when I look back, I see how different people talk to me and what may seem like a casual conversation with them, they actually say things that contribute alot to aid my thinking. I remember how Yao Khuan had a random conversation with me and I had to call him immediately to rant. And out of all that ranting, lots of good came out of it. Or like just the friends that surround me that always seem to be such active participants in my entire project. Like from the thinking, to the executing even to the editing and which to put in a series. Ok right now you probably think that I don't have a brain of my own if I seek the advice of everyone, BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE GUYS. I just have like people around me to confirm what I think or give constructive criticism you know? Hahaha ok all these may seem a little unrelatable just felt like I wanted to share my process while doing this project which definitely wasn't easy at all, but always very rewarding. 

I've been so blessed especially by the people around me which makes my life so beautiful. Really very thankful for all of you. Just thinking about being away from Singapore for 6 months would be rather challenging 

A Changed World

My really happy friends pretending to be in Hong Kong, embracing the wind while Pete prints his stuff. We took 100 photos, way too quickly hahaha

I'm glad I got to know you guys in ADM it's just so nice to have random hangouts like these and we can talk about anything under the sun. It seems as if everyone in Year 2 ADM are friends or something. I guess it's the perks of being in a specialised school :> And it's easy to gel together because we all love making art, hahaha same sense of humour I would say

Both my vday gifts in my tummy now <3

And thanks for that FB post Chris :> I don't really like being in front of the camera but thanks for that picture! I was actually saying 'Nooo I don't wanna take alone, come take with me' but I have to admit I look pretty happy there hahaha. Thanks Chris :') and thank you friends for always letting me take photos of you all I really like doing that spontaneously, anyday. It's just something so natural that you want your friends to have nice pictures of themselves yknow?! Or just photos of them having fun so that at the end of the day they can all look back and just laugh and be happy. 

The wonders of photographs

Clingwrappy Valentines

I'm gonna begin this post with a 'YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY'

Although I'm clearly aware that today is valentines day, but me being very bothered and worried about today wasn't if I'm going to spend it alone but because I had a shoot which I was extremely anxious about as well as my exchange results. So now that everything on my Friday agenda is done, I can blog with a peace of mind (and with lots of joy in my heart haha) My cheeks are hurting as I type cause I've been smiling since 6pm till now, and till tomorrow hahaha. Ok, lengthy post coming up

Firstly, I did my first shot of my series of 3 today and this shot was the hardest to do. Although it was something I could imagine all in my head but I knew that executing it would be different and not that easy. It was already difficult to gather a group of willing girls on this special day of the month, and to shoot something that is the total opposite of glamourous. So actually these poor friends of mine had to be clingwrapped and body stacked on each other, under the scorching sun. Directing them was tough cause I found myself saying sorry half the time, having them put their body weight on each other, arms in the most contorted ways, while they sweated their entire body out. It's tough job man hahah and I'm so so thankful that they did this with me so positively. I thought I might have faced alot more problems composing my picture cause building a human pyramid isn't easy to be aesthetically pleasing I guess? But we did it in 1 or 2 tries! Which was great cause we did everything in an hour hahaha. Was trying my best to shorten the torture time for them and only took 2 shots with the Hasselblad and I pray with all my heart that they're good. I also had Pete shooting on the 35mm and helping me get stuff or giving them tissue hahaha thanks alot for helping me! Unwrapping all of them was probably the most liberating for both parties cause we were just cutting through everything. I had friends that looked like they were going to pass out omg I'm so so sorry. So, we ended off with a ball of clingwrap drenched in sweat which Pete picked up to throw away I didn't even know. Hahahah whoops thank you

What an experience really. Obviously they all had their valentines day gift from me which is nothing compared to whatever I put them through, suffocating their lungs and crushing their ribs for a picture (Slight exaggeration here). And something I like to do after every shoot, is to give each one a polaroid for memory sake. It's like my way of saying thank you cause I love my wide polaroids so much I'd wanna share it hahah. 

Thank you Amanda, Chiewtong, Christina, Lixin, Hsien Juan and Pete for helping me todayyy really appreciate how willing you all were. Even though I gave you all warnings and sample pictures of my sister being clingwrapped you guys didn't reject me. And I realised that these are all my church friends :') I'm really new in Hope Church but I'm glad I've met friends like them that made me adjust a lot easier. Especially to Chiewtong my shepherd for tanking the bottom of the human pyramid although you're so skinny and small and for always being so enthusiastic in my projects. I think you would know best about how I struggled so much with this 'Stereotypes' project. And to Chris and Lixin for helping me gather more people cause I'm too embarrassed to ask around. I'm just so glad that things are finally happening although all my classmates are already done and editing when I'm still shooting?! But it's ok, at least I'm happy with this take on Stereotypes :>

Haha like I said on Instagram, today I've realised how I'm worth my friend's time, sweat and lungs hahaha. Happy Valentines Day everyone :>

(Oh yes btw! If you look closely my polaroids have light leaks?! I think it's because I've dropped my polaroid quite a few times and it's pretty old. So maybe you might wanna try dropping your polaroids strategically hahaha just a suggestion but don't hold me to it.)

ADM girls can sing

Proud of you Manda <3 

Beautiful ladies with beautiful voices

I wish one day I'd figure a way to combine photography with the fine art I think I love

Test #2

Had another reshoot with my sister for the second time and I think I need to practice more with using the Hasselblad. It's so tough to focus (for me that is hahaha I'm not that good like the rest). So glad today is finally over because me being such a last minute person, I'm always relief to make it out alive at the end of the day. I was supposed to submit my stuff at 5pm today and I only started this on Sunday night 11pm. Which means I shot developed scan print altogether. Hahahah I'm not proud of this but I'm thankful somehow God always gives me the grace to complete. I managed to submit at 2:30? Ok but really, no more procrastinating

Today while I was printing, was talking to a senior and she's really nice thanks to her I managed to print and get everything out early in fact hahah. But she was asking what was I busy with that I had to rush this last minute. Hmmm, I think my friends around me should know this. I've been thinking about 'Stereotypes' for so so long. I just can't like decide and shoot. I keep thinking and exploring symbolism and so called in search of my own style. I keep questioning if I like it or I'd feel happy shooting it and yeah all these sorts of questions. I wanted to know if people would get what I want to say, or if whatever I'm even saying valid or of interest. Hahaha oh my ramblings

But yes everything is finalised now yay. I've not discussed anything with my teacher but yes I've decided on what I'm going to do already and it doesn't really look like whatever I've shot. But it's ok! Haha I have a week to rush this and it's gonna be tough cause I don't have everyday to shoot. 

With God all things are possible (Y)

Lim Mart

We're gonna miss you Mart :'(

Had dinner with my A&F friends today because Mart is leaving for exchange really soon. Glad that we all meet up despite our crazy schedules and having us be so tired from school. And today I just realised how different we are all in terms of what we're doing in life. We have some working (we have 2 that works as air steward and stewardess), some studying and it's tough to pick a date we all can make it. But I'm happy we did today :> You guys make me laugh till I've got no idea where I'm walking. I loose all sense of direction, not to mention how bad my directions already are. It's been almost 2 years that I've been working at A&F and these friends are still people that are close so my heart. Although all of you aren't working anymore, we still meet up. Many more to come!!!

Just one amidst them all

All glory

Esther 

I think most of the friends in my class are struggling with out current photography project but it's nice cause we're all helping each other. Esther sold me a roll of film because I've got no time to travel and get them. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Although this semester is still kinda tough, but I've really learnt how to trust my own instincts in doing what I like or what I'd feel for. The process of art making is always painful but enjoyable and always worthwhile. 

Our Chinese New Year this year :>

Had ours in Singapore this year because usually we'd head back to Malaysia to visit my mum's side. It felt pretty odd for me cause I was a little lost on what I'm supposed to be doing haha but it felt good. I had the first three days with the same family but at different venues. And we had sleepovers for all the days, which explains my instagram because I uploaded so many of my cousins. Thanks to my dad, he brought back two lighting stands for family/group pictures sake. It felt like a real studio although it wasn't the same as the lights I'm learning about in school. But still, yay light. Light is so important in pictures, so so important. Here's a quick summary of the people my family had Chinese New Year with. I'm piled with work and I'm afraid I can't edit and upload them all so soon on facebook (I think the adults now love Facebook more than we do hahaha) And we really tried squeezing everyone into our living room for a picture hahaha. We tried, we tried. 

I really liked it this year :>